Reflecting on the Holy Family

On the last Sunday of the year, we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family. On this feast day, we offer our own families and all their members at the altar, asking God to bless them and to grant them the guidance of the Holy Family.

A common theme in the three readings that the liturgy offers us this year for the Feast of the Holy Family is obedience. The first reading, taken from the Book of Sirach, praises the son who obeys his father. Then, in the second reading, Saint Paul tells children to obey their parents “in everything.” And the Gospel shows Joseph obedient to the angel’s warnings. What is interesting and important is that all three biblical passages view obedience in the context of a broader relationship.

The Book of Sirach says that obedience is part of what makes a family happy. Children trust that their parents have good reasons for telling them to do something. Children also learn discipline and how to contribute to family life. Spouses trust each other not to ask them to do anything harmful. Obedience is also a sign of respect for an older family member. Modern culture often views older people as useless, but the Book of Sirach reminds us of the wisdom they can share.

Saint Paul shows us how the love of Christ transforms a family. When he speaks of wives being subordinate and husbands loving their wives, he means that both should respect and love each other. Children and parents have mutual duties: children should obey their parents, and parents should be reasonable and loving.

Parents can find support in the Gospel to encourage obedience. Joseph obeyed the angel’s messages and saved the life of the infant Jesus. Thus, families can learn that emphasizing obedience can protect the child, as well as teach them. Parents can also remind their children that God asks for obedience for our own good, not out of capriciousness.

When we obey God’s law, we learn to trust God more deeply, and in this way, we live with greater freedom. As children, we think that rules restrict us, but as we mature, we learn that we are more limited by our desires and mistaken beliefs. We learn to adapt those desires so they align with God’s plan for us. We grow by replacing erroneous beliefs (such as that material things bring true happiness, that revenge is sweet, etc.) with faith in a loving God who wants what is best for us and who does not magically take away our suffering, but instead supports us through it.

Let us remember that the Holy Family is an example for our families, helping us to become families of love and reconciliation, where there is mutual obedience, tenderness, help, and forgiveness. This week, I invite you to reflect on the three key words that Pope Francis suggested a couple of years ago for peace and joy in the family: “May I?”, “Thank you,” and “I’m sorry.” He also said that when in a family someone realizes they have done something wrong and knows how to say “I’m sorry,” there is peace and joy in that family.” May our beloved Pope Francis rest in peace.

Fr. Lalo Jara, OFM
Pastor, Mission San Luis Rey Parish