Forgiving Those Who Hurt Us

Dear friends: this week, I would like to share a reflection Tom Schmidt put together on this Sunday’s Gospel passage.  Thank you! –Fr. Lalo


Why should we forgive those who hurt us?

This Sunday’s Gospel gives us three reasons: First, because Jesus commands it; second, because forgiveness is part of loving one another. And third, because we want to be forgiven for our sins.

Obviously, Jesus expects us to forgive one another. In this passage, he commands us to forgive without ceasing, without limit. That might be a challenge for even the most patient people. So, does forgiveness exclude tough love? Does it mean we should let someone hurt us again and again? No. We can forgive someone and still prevent them from hurting us if we do so with love (the second reason). For example, we can forgive an alcoholic relative but still insist that they seek help. We can forgive a son or daughter who breaks the law but still let them face the consequences so they learn from their mistake. We can forgive a friend who borrows money without paying it back and also refer them to a credit counselor instead of lending them more money. Since forgiveness is part of love, it is also part of tough love.

That leads to the third reason: we forgive because we want to be forgiven. Or more accurately, we forgive because we have been forgiven. Jesus already died for our sins. His resurrection shows us that the Father accepted the sacrifice of his Son, Jesus, for our sins. If we truly believe that Jesus rose again and that we will rise with him to eternal life despite our sins, how can we refuse to forgive someone who hurts us?

When we promise to take up the cross each day and follow him, we must remember why Jesus took the cross and realize that we must forgive as he forgives. That’s why the cross is such a powerful symbol. It asks us to accept suffering for Jesus’ sake. It reminds us that sometimes the cross is simply about forgiving someone rather than hurting or hating them. If Jesus gave his life to forgive us, are we willing to spread that forgiveness far and wide?

May the Lord always give you His peace.

Fr. Lalo Jara, OFM
Pastor, Mission San Luis Rey Parish